March 2012
College Haiku
Fuck your textbook, son And fuck your midterm too, bitch Deadline my ass, trick
Anonymous asked: Is it possible for a nigga to wear a scarf without looking stupid?
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I remember one time this girl I was talking too...
Let me start off by saying that Dear John is one of the dumbest fucking movies made. Ever. In fucking history. I wish I could get every one who was in the movie, put them in a rocket and fire them directly into the fucking sun. I really tried to pay attention and I tried to like the movie to keep her happy and give her a sense of satisfaction that I’m not a guy who doesn’t find...
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I remember once
A friend of mine from grade school who now goes to NYU invited me to one of his frat parties, I said cool and he gave me the date and address. This was the first time that I ever went to a frat party so the experience was all new to me and I was curious to see if it was just like in the movies and shit. It was.
I walk in and there were people making out and grinding all over the place, smoking in...
February 2012
Anonymous asked: What does it mean when a guy has a sex dream about a girl? Cuz my bf had one of me 3 times lol..
Anonymous asked: wait who did you have a sex dream with?
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"HBO On Demand is currently unavailable. Please...
But…. Nah, son… Nah.
I swear to God, man
A nigga could wear some Jordan XIII Nike heels some red MC Hammer Parachute pants, a purple denim jacket and a tie dye tank top under with a fucked up Angela Davis Afro/Kid ‘n Play flat top and you’d still see people reblogging that shit like
“FASHION!” Nah, son. I’ll say it spanish Nah, mi hijo.
You get yourself a bottle and say
“I don’t love anything anymore”
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If I like you, I like you.
staypozitive:
I’m not saying i like you because
you’re hot
you’re sexy
you’re fine
you’ve got a nice body
you’re perfect,
I like you because
you can be yourself around me
you make me smile
your personality
you do the weirdest things and I find it cute
Fuck all that shit.
Dat ass
Dat mouf
The things you do with dat ass
The things you do with dat mouf
You make good bacon
True Life: I'm Too Icey
What the girl you used to have a crush on tells...
“I used to have the biggest crush on you! You didn’t know?”
I love when girls have tan lines.
A fat ass with tan lines, is like having a cheeseburger and putting bacon on it. Exactly. Perfection. I think God made the sun specifically to make tan lines… All that other shit like photosynthesis is just extra shit.
I'ma keep it a 100 with y'all
I’m waiting for spring just to see all them thick girls in them sun dresses and shit
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Women underestimate what a blowjob and some...
Why you gotta talk all the time? Do you have that much to say? You say all I talk about is sex and that it’s stupid. Well, all you talk about is feelings and that’s stupid². Isn’t that what your friends are for? You should tell them all the bullshit so that I can listen to the important shit. I don’t have a filter that can separate the things that actually matter from the...
To My Future Husband:
tomyfuturespouse:
I don’t like the term “falling in love”. When you fall, its a mistake and you always get back up. I want to grow in love with you instead. Learning to love you through the good and bad times. I don’t want our love to be a mistake
And y’all ask why we don’t listen when y’all talk.
Me: I just don't think it's working out anymore, I'm sorry.
Girl: Oh my God... Is this really happening...
Me: Look it's not you, it's me. I just have a lot on my plate.
Girl:
Me:
Girl:
Me: Ok, fine it's you. I can't fucking stand you anymore. You happy? Holy shit.
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> Teacher see’s me sleeping in class > Wakes me up and tells me how aweful my attitude towards the class is > I rebuttal by telling her how boring it is > She gives me a test to take by myself to teach me a lesson > She grades it in front of me and I get an A- > Doesnt say a word as she hands it to me and doesnt look at me for the rest of the class
“Passion begets hunger. Hunger consumes the world.”
– Silver Surfer
Anonymous asked: Your music taste is amazing.
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I had a sex dream with this girl I follow.
I did bad things to that girl.
So apparently,
I’m the worst nightmare of Muslim parents when it comes to their daughters. What.
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I'ma make this clear
In case some of y’all got shit messed up 2 girls and a guy is a threesome; 2 guys and a girl is a train. Two different things, you can’t confuse those two. If a girl tried to have a “threesome” and invited another nigga, I’m shooting that nigga in the chest with musket, nigga. Some big ass Power Ranger Megazord assault rifle shit. Why can’t you invite one of...
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I like when girls play with my beard.
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My top five Jedi's
No particular order:
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Mace Windu
Yoda
Kit Fisto
Plo Koon
I'ma get shmacked tonight.
Straight chopped, nigga.
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Nigga, I hate
Columbus Circle
Times Square
Union Square
Herald Square
It’s all people with denim jackets with those big dumbass lego looking pins on them, doc martens, fedoras, ripped stockings, cosby sweaters, Nikon cameras, Mac Laptops, supreme hats, true religion jeans, rugby polos, snapbacks, jordan retros, foamposites and nordic beanie hats making stupid ass poses trying to look candid when they...
“We will use the tools that God gave us to fight the nigger: The whip, the noose,...”
– Uncle Ruckus
I hate when girls say shit like
“If he takes 30 mins to text me, I’ll make him wait an hour!”
That’s unfair. What if I had business to handle? What if I had to take a shower or eat or deliver a baby or some shit? You tellin me I have to tell you before I do something? Ask permission and shit? How you not giving the pussy up yet but you’re already tryna control a nigga and shit.
Nah. Double Nah....
Anonymous asked: *Kneels* What is thy biding, my Master?
Anonymous asked: so my family and I are on vacation to disney world right, and now apparently there is star wars shit all in disney world. So we go into this one place and you can build your own lightsaber, and the employee overseeing it all is this hot ass chick. So naturally, i fashion a lightsaber (red for the dark side) and we have a fight. Then we get into a blade-to-blade lock, and I whisper to...
All magazines do is make girls think niggas give a...
british boys: hey babe, how are you? you look lovely today
american boys: whaddup shawty you lookin good winna winna chicken dinna hellz yeah lets get naked
arab guys: you wanna make friendship
me: you tryna fuck or what, girl?
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Real nigga haiku
What? Relationship? I just wanna fuck though, girl I gotta go, peace
I'm too smacked right now. What is this.
