Giving someone a dap while walking past eachother is like refueling a plane in midair.
Yo, this shit is blowing mines.– New York Proverb
Why do women like being the big spoon? I feel like I got a backpack on or some shit.
waltkhadafi: metalburger: Girls send me screenshots of niggas saying lame shit all the time. That’s why I have a council of my niggas proofread everything I’m about to say so I don’t send any screenshot-worthy shit. this is 100% accurate everything I say to a girl is peer reviewed and analyzed that’s why i text back slow cause sometimes my affiliates in switzerland and the congo are asleep...
You gotta be cautious
With women that liked to be choked. Theres women who liked to be choked lightly, but then theres those who want you to squeeze till the veins come out on their forehead and they sound like Louis Armstrong and shit. You know she likes to be choked and so you do it, but she tells you to squeeze harder and you’re like “Aigh, she a freak. I like that” And she tells you to squeeze...
This crack head just tried to sell me some potato chips.
This nigga Miguel giving his fans Hulkamania leg drops without missing a beat and shit. That is a real entertainer.
All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire.– Buddha (via transe-exquise)
Shout out to that 8 page mineralogy final I just took. Fuck rocks, nigga.
Gordon Ramsay is the bringer of truth.
omw to your girls house like
Let me see you with rollers in your hair so I know its real, girl.
Lord, help me say no to new pussy cause these bitches is out here.– My friend after being in a relationship for 1 day.
This nigga told a girl that her head was so good, he compared her to a Dementor sucking the soul out of him.
I remember once
I met this girl at a kickback and we exchanged numbers. We got to know each other and eventually, we started messing around. About 2 weeks into our little fling, I found out she had a man. Now, I wasn’t mad or anything. I didn’t have any expectations for whatever me and her were, and I was more than happy being number 2 and getting everything but the drama, but it was crazy how on all...
vanishedcstle: we’re “just friends”
There’s corners and intersections in New York that are scarier than Ghost Hunters.
All my white friends pop adderal for finals. Niggas pop em like sensu beans and shit.
I was just frontin’
Undercover cop arresting man for drinking Arizona Iced Tea.
I love a woman who can kick my ass.– Spike Spiegel (via metalburger)
I just got a whole rotisserie chicken. For myself.
Yo, deadass.– New York Proverb.
titytwochainz: If you think I’ma be buying Michael Kors and Louis for a bitch just cause that’s her thing, then you can call me broke. I’ll be that. If you treat me right, you ain’t gotta be high maintenance. You’ll have whatever you want, cause you deserve it.
when i delete i hope they retire my url and put it...
The X-Files is one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I love seeing women with their hair wet.
Life Alert: Can you please state your emergency?
Me: Yeah these niggas got me fucked up
Real nigga haiku
Yo, this girl trippin She wants a relationship But I’m like “nah, b”
Anonymous asked: i'm moving to nyc in the fall. where's a decent cheap place to live
There u go, acting like a hoe again.– 2pac
I need a southern girl.