February 2012
My top five Jedi's
No particular order:
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Mace Windu
Yoda
Kit Fisto
Plo Koon
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I'ma get shmacked tonight.
Straight chopped, nigga.
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Nigga, I hate
Columbus Circle
Times Square
Union Square
Herald Square
It’s all people with denim jackets with those big dumbass lego looking pins on them, doc martens, fedoras, ripped stockings, cosby sweaters, Nikon cameras, Mac Laptops, supreme hats, true religion jeans, rugby polos, snapbacks, jordan retros, foamposites and nordic beanie hats making stupid ass poses trying to look candid when they...
“We will use the tools that God gave us to fight the nigger: The whip, the noose,...”
– Uncle Ruckus
I hate when girls say shit like
“If he takes 30 mins to text me, I’ll make him wait an hour!”
That’s unfair. What if I had business to handle? What if I had to take a shower or eat or deliver a baby or some shit? You tellin me I have to tell you before I do something? Ask permission and shit? How you not giving the pussy up yet but you’re already tryna control a nigga and shit.
Nah. Double Nah....
Anonymous asked: *Kneels* What is thy biding, my Master?
Anonymous asked: so my family and I are on vacation to disney world right, and now apparently there is star wars shit all in disney world. So we go into this one place and you can build your own lightsaber, and the employee overseeing it all is this hot ass chick. So naturally, i fashion a lightsaber (red for the dark side) and we have a fight. Then we get into a blade-to-blade lock, and I whisper to...
All magazines do is make girls think niggas give a...
british boys: hey babe, how are you? you look lovely today
american boys: whaddup shawty you lookin good winna winna chicken dinna hellz yeah lets get naked
arab guys: you wanna make friendship
me: you tryna fuck or what, girl?
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Real nigga haiku
What? Relationship? I just wanna fuck though, girl I gotta go, peace
I'm too smacked right now. What is this.
Anonymous asked: go on youtube and check her nigga. andreaschoice
I think it's stupid how these comercials will have...
“Don’t do this” “Don’t do that”
Bitch nigga, you rich. You pay people to do that for you. You ain’t in the line of fire, nigga. You’re not on the frontline, nigga. You wasn’t with me when that nigga was fucking up the blunt rotation, nigga. Fuck outta here, tellin niggas what to do from their mansions and shit. What the fuck.
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I remember I got in trouble in elementary school...
Now the thing is, she really was fat. She was big as fuck, man. We were the last class to get to our classroom because she couldnt get up the stairs quick enough and shit, losing learning time and shit, fucking tax dollars and shit.
It started because some kid at my table was throwing little paper balls at this girl who was at another table because he had a crush on and the teacher thought it was...
I wish Disney would make a Gangster princess
Like some bitch some Compton or some shit who used to be a Rollin 60 Crip or some shit and has a tear drop for this girl she killed in an altercation over her her exboyfriend/baby daddy Gustavo who is in prison for aggravated assault.
I’d honestly watch that movie.
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Why do girls force their boyfriends to go places...
I understand if its to meet your family and shit but I hate when its on a double date or to meet her friends and shit. I don’t give a fuck about your friends, woman. I don’t usually get a long with the friends of the girl I’m with because they tend to get in our business and I tend to tell them to suck my dick and I use whatever my girl has told me about them against them, which...
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Remember when Cable fought and beat Falcon,...
And the Red Hulk came to rescue them, grabbed one of Cable’s guns and shot him with it? I know, I was freaking out too.
“No more running and no more waiting. Let’s hit them where they live.”
– Commander Shepard
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My niggas
Jared: Look at her, I would fuck her through time.
Me: I'd fuck her through the fiery inferno that is hell.
Jared: Did you have to get all poetic with it?
Me: Well... Yeah? Bitches love poetic shit.
Jared: That's true, I give you props.
Me: All of them.
Ali: Y'all niggas know any Hot Dog places that deliver?
Me: Goddamnit, Ali.
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If you don't like Mass Effect
Then you’re part of Al-Qaeda and you will be hunted down and brought to justice.
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I busted my ass so bad earlier
Trying to land a 180 Tre flip. I landed it on a manual and leaned too much on my backfoot and the board flew from under my feet. I fell so hard that I just laid on the floor for like 2 minutes.
I’m pretty sure there are still chunks of my ass at that skate spot. Fuck
sdreams asked: Where do you see the United States in 50 years?
Anonymous asked: how u feel bout girls that wear butt pads and girls that wear bra pads
Anonymous asked: Im sorry if I sound like a politically correct nerd, but the real nigga poem accompanied by the picture of a black man is really offensive. What about his appearance makes him illiterate or foul mouthed? It's a really mean stereotype that unfortunately goes unnoticed...
“Fuck the police.”
– Every Criminal Justice major.
I just saw the new Mass Effect trailer
I don’t even know how to feel about life anymore.
It’s fucking amazing. Goddamnit.
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Bitch, you wasn't with me when Sinestro and the...
Fuck outta here.
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Ok so I put my chocolate cookie down somewhere
And now I can’t find that shit. Theres nobody here except me and my cat and I can’t find that nigga so he’s the #1 suspect so far in this robbery which is soon to be a murder.
Let's be honest, girl
When’s the last time a nigga told you some real shit?
You know when a girls ass is so fat
She gotta hop to get in her jeans? And you can see the booty meat hanging over the jeans and shit? That is poetry in motion. That is perfection.
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Girl: I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m not like those other girls I know you be talking too Me: Girl: I deserve respect, you don’t know me like that. You can be so insensitive sometimes Me: Girl: I just wish you’d put yourself in my position sometimes. It’s not easy and I’m tired of how men treat women in general these days, theres no gentlemen...
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I don't understand how people can go around
Counting calories and shit. I have never in all my life given a fuck how many calories anything has. Niggas are hungry out here, man. I ain’t got time to be counting shit and doing math and all that bullshit.
Lemme tell you sum’, I could go to the supermarket and look at the back of a can of food and I don’t give a fuck if it says “Ingredients: Concentrated Cholesterol,...
Gonna surprise my mom
With a new LG 32 inch LCD tv. She deserves it for putting up with my ass.
I fucking hate these pijamas
Can’t take 3 steps without my dick popping out the front and shit. What the fuck.
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Real nigga haiku
Look, c’mon baby I can’t cum with a condom I’ll pull out, I swear
WatchThis is one of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life. Fuck.